1. The act of choosing; selection.
2. The power, right, or liberty to choose; option.
3. One that is chosen.
4. A number or variety from which to choose.
5. Care in choosing.
Inspired by Erin's post and a message by our Pastor this past Sunday, I wanted to share what I'm learning about choice.
Sometime between 4 and 5 a.m. I hear his footsteps; his little grunt as he climbs onto the bed. I feel the cold of our bedroom seep under the sheets as he lifts them; putting his face to mine. His perky voice chirps, "Gikky? Heroes?". I fight the urge to cover my head and roll over, knowing that it's much earlier than I want to be up.
And that's when I get to choose. To choose to mother him whenever he needs it, despite my desire to sleep in past 5 a.m. To choose to greet him with a smile instead of a grumble. To choose to thank God for the blessing of this little boy and not resent the fact that he's an early bird. Choosing kind peaceful words instead of using a cutting, cursing, irritated tongue. In that moment I get to choose the start of our day. I know what the days are like when I choose to grumble, to ignore, to resent, and stew. It's not worth tainting a new day just to stay under warm blankets a few minutes longer.
The power to choose is sometimes overwhelming. I want to choose what seems easy. What seems easy isn't always the best choice.
I'm learning so much about choice in every area of my life. We have recently chosen to try a new church. It took us several months of back and forth before we decided to try. We were nervous about leaving a place we've called home for the larger part of 8 years, we were timid about making new acquaintances, worried about how the kids would do in the nursery/Sunday school. Despite our apprehension we felt the nudge and followed it, making the choice to step out of our comfort zone and we are feeling so blessed by it.
The Pastor shared a message about Herod and how he chose to use his hurt and anger. He asked us to look at our own life and reflect on what makes us angry. He compared our anger with Herod's and it was powerful. He suggested that most of what we get angry about can reveal areas in our life that need work, areas that we don't want to lose control of. Inspired by this I began to look closer at my everyday irritations. And it's true. It's control. I strongly desire control over what happens in my life, it gives me a sense of security and comfort. When that control is challenged or even usurped, I lose it. And by 'it' I mean control of my emotions, my power of choice, my stability and zeal as a follower of Christ.
This week I'm choosing joy. I'm choosing peace, gentleness, forgiveness, mercy, and most importantly self-control.